Movies Based on Other Things That Have Totally Ruined the World

(No, I don't mean that "other things" have ruined the world. I mean that the movies based on those things have ruined the world.)

Hey y'all! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Busy 'n stuff. Ya know.

So today, I'm going to talk about a few movies who have totally ruined the originals.

Take, for instance, the Lightning Thief.

The movie itself is really good. I saw it before I even read the books. Then I read the books (by Rick Riordan), fell in love with the series, am now an ultimate fan, and realized just how off the movie is.

First, the cast.

I love the picks for Percy and Grover. If you're going to go with an older cast, then those two were definitely great. I don't even have to say how perfect Luke was. But I do have a few complaints about the other characters... like... ANNABETH.

Who is this chick? Seriously? She doesn't even have gray eyes. Unless blue suddenly became gray in the past few years and I totally missed the transition. Not to mention she had STRAIGHT BROWN HAIR instead of CURLY BLOND HAIR. Really. Couldn't you people have gotten Jeannette McCurdy? She would have been perfect! Not to mention Alexandra Daddario is a... well... bad actress. A for effort, though!

Then they just go and get the rest of the movie wrong. Clarisse wasn't even in it. Mr. Brunner was a brown horse. Mr. D. wasn't even in it. Hades was totally the bad guy (even though he was only framed in the books). Ares wasn't in it. Persephone didn't like living in the Underworld (I know that was actually how it was in the myth, but not in the book!)

Bottom line, I was bitter when I saw the movie again after reading the books. But I love them both separately for different reasons.

Then I went and watched The Help. I should have known better! You know who directed The Help? Chris Columbus. You know who directed the Lightning Thief? Chris Columbus. Nuff said.

The next movie that I totally hated was the Last Airbender, based on the Nickelodeon animated series. I'm a huge fan of the series and I watched the movie after seeing only two episodes. I was curious.

I should have known when I saw that the movie was available on InstantPlay for Netflix. That usually means one of three things: the movie is old, the movie is really, really bad, or the movie is low budget. As it turns out, The Last Airbender was two of these three things.

It starts out promising enough. The actors seem to resemble the characters in the series pretty well. Then they open their mouths. What. The. Heck. Jackson Rathbone (Imma be honest here) is just a really blah actor. I mean, have you seen him in Twilight? He's like grade-A creeper in that movie. And he's just as creepy as Sokka. And where was the sarcasm? After only two episodes, I deduced that Sokka is an extremely sarcastic, hilarious character. There was absolutely no sarcasm in the movie. Sokka's even admitted that that's pretty much all he has. And what was up with the mispronunciation of his name? If it were to be pronounced So-ka it would have been spelled Soka. It's basic English. If you want a long O in there, there can only be one K. But because there are two K's, it's pronounced Saw-ka. Really. And what was up with his boomerang? In the show, it looks as if Saw-ka's boomerang could double as a blade. What is the question mark stick that Jackson Rathbone uses?? I don't get it.

Then there's Katara. She looks good enough, looks like the character, but SHE IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST ACTRESS I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS IN MY LIFE. Really, she's just that boring. It's incredible. She tries too hard to be hopeful. And that's pretty much all I have to say about her.

Then we meet Aang. Or, Ong. Who could not be more polar opposite from the Aang in the series. Really. He's serious, and boring, and what the heck was up with those tattoos? It looks like he's part of some sort of satanic cult. And it takes him like three minutes of dancing to bend anything. And he doesn't smile. Like, ever. And Appa? He's the most obviously computer-generated flying bison I have ever seen.

Enter Prince Zuko. Let me just say I absolutely love his character in the series and if he were a real person... mmmmmmm... But that's not the point. I noticed in the series that each element seems to be a different race? of Asian if that makes any sense. Different country, I guess. The Earthbenders are Chinese-inspired (I'm sorry, that just seems really obvious to me). The Firebenders are Japanese. The Airbenders are the Buddhist monks. The Waterbenders are like the eskimos, you get me? I'm pretty sure the only Indian guy in the entire show is the guru from the episode, The Guru. But not in the movie! The entire Firenation is Indian and poor Prince Zuko sat out in the sun too long, as is obvious from the sunburn on the side of his face. Wait, that's supposed to be his scar? My bad.

Seriously! Zuko is like the hottest character ever and they get Dev Patel to play him? Nothing against Dev Patel, he's a really good actor, but he just wasn't Zuko enough!

Then we meet Uncle Iroh. Mother of pancakes. Who the heck was he? He looked like a cross between Barbossa and Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. And add a little bit of Tia Dalma. What do you get? Uncle Iroh. The fat, happy, tea-loving, completely lovable character that always gets put down by his angry nephew. I was terribly disappointed.

Let me get down to the actual plot. Which isn't much of one. (Let me just say now that I only watched twenty minutes of the movie. It was that bad.) So randomly, this little Earthbender girl runs in, mystically knowing that Aang is the Avatar, and seeks out the trio for help. In come the Firenation soldiers, dragging them all back to prison, Aang looking creepily suspicious in his robes. As it turns out, the Earthbenders have been imprisoned in a valley-type-thing, surrounded by earth and they outnumber the Firebenders like, one hundred to one. Aang boosts their morale, steeling Katara's only potentially inspiring scene and the benders realize, "Hey, maybe we can take out five Firenation soldiers!" However, it takes them ten minutes and ten people to move one rock. I stopped right about there.

So, because I really didn't watch too much of the movie, I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions, but what I saw was pretty dang bad. Oh sorry. Pretty dong bad.

Oh, and Toph wasn't even in it. What a let down.

And I didn't even talk about Ozai! I know he wasn't in the first twenty minutes, but I went and watched a review of the movie on YouTube. In the series, Ozai is a maniacal, calculating, fiend who wants nothing more than to rule the world. In the movie, I got the cold, calm, calculating, semi-fiendish Indian guy who mumbles and tries to look crazy. Yup.

I was so disappointed in this movie.